10-man Ulduar clear!

The night after downing Yogg in heroic mode, I had the chance to go in and finish a 10-man Ulduar run that had been started earlier. Honestly, I wasn't feeling too good about it. There's been a lot of talk lately about recruiting another boomkin or shadow priest for the hit buff, but we have so many dpsers now that we can't take all of them in. I'm concerned that if we recruit another ranged dps, there will be no more room for me. I'm taking this whole situation incredibly personally, and am glad that Dev has said that recruitment stays closed.

We got a little bit of a late start, and there were a few bumps in the road along the way. It is so hard for me to not blame myself and not feel like I completely fail in a group. It's hard to feel like everyone is looking at me like I can't execute. Sometimes playing a MMO takes me back 30 years, and brings up painful memories of growing up disabled in a nondisabled world. The people around me who get it give me a precious gift in their understanding.

On our last attempt, we got Yogg-Saron down. No tears this time, just relief. There are still a lot of times when there is a disconnect between my raiding behavior and what my brain will let me do. I know I'm in the guild where I belong, but sometimes I wonder if I should be in a guild where I can contribute more. In the end, I'm here, and unless Dev tells me he wants me out of the raiding core (or hell freezes over), here I will stay.