Thursday, February 26, 2009

Staying Positive

This post is actually replacing the one I wrote first - decided I was tired of whining. So if you read my original post and want to talk about it, ask me in game. If not, read on.
I'm on the world's biggest emotional roller coaster right now - so much is happening in WoW and in life that it's a wonder that I am handling it as well as I am.
I remember early in my relationship with Bryan, I didn't feel like he deserved to have a disabled girlfriend, and that he could pick a better woman for his wife. I expressed that to one of my friends, who has spina bifida and uses a wheelchair. His response was, "Stop that right now or you will lose Bryan. He picked you because he loves you and you are being unfair to him by questioning him on it." Ever since then, I've appreciated the love that we share, and the fact that Bryan was willing to promise to stand by me whatever happened.
I see a parallel between that and my current guild situation. I've been in guilds before where I felt like I was resented for making the guild deal with the effects of my disability. I don't feel that here, and yet, I keep asking, "am I being fair to my guildies?" That's when I take a step back and look at the times when I've gotten a tell saying, "We need you, will you come?"
I hate being carried, I want to contribute as much as anyone. However, I can only do what I can do and hope it's enough. Remembering the good times always helps when I get down. Being tenacious enough to get in there and bring it helps too.
Positive CRC memories:
1. Archimonde first kill - right before he went down, I was blown up in the air. I hit my tears, hit levitate, and healed myself just as Dev was saying, "Heal Carol, don't let her die"
2. Malygos first kill and feeling like I really contributed.
3. Patchwerk - Heroic: Make Quick Werk of Him Achievement.
4. Loatheb - Spore Loser achievement on 10-man. My poor imp felt so used, since I only had him out for Dark Pact.
5. The first time I made the jump on Thaddius, and the first time I survived the Safety Dance on Heigan.
6. The first time I saw Kel'Thuzad go down.

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