The Power of Words

Yesterday, I was told by two separate guildies that I worry too much about my performance. The second friend spent some time talking to me about past history and why I feel the way I do. It really got me thinking about how powerful words are, especially in a MMO, where words are all we have.
Two years ago, I had the priviledge of hearing a talk by a motivational speaker and author named David Weber, who wrote a book called "Sticks and Stones: The Power of Words". In his book, he talks about two types of people, who he calls Frog Giggers and Frog Kissers. Gigging is a term used in the midwestern and southern US for capturing frogs and flounder by spearing them with a long stick. Frog giggers pull people down, while Frog kissers, like the princess in the fairy tale, build people up.
I've been in guilds where most of the officers and the top tier of players were Frog Giggers. All I heard from them was how I was not good enough at dps, healing, whatever. Sadly, those guilds never saw a good portion of content. I've also been experiencing what it's like to be in a guild full of Frog Kissers. With them, I've been able to do far more than I ever expected in this game, and the biggest encouragers of all are the three officers.
What does that mean for the leadership of a guild? Well, I'd say if you want to get the best out of your members, be a frog kisser. Put a priority on getting them into runs where they will succeed, and let them try to spread their wings and stretch themselves.