Monday, May 4, 2009

Let Me Be Myself

It's always darkest right before the dawn, and Friday was no exception.
I got a part-time job, which is good, and had a good weekend. Last night, on Mimiron, I did fairly consistent 3K dps overall. At one point, I shared the damage meter with Flip, and got a tell back, "ZOMG!" "you or me?" "u!" That meant a lot. Flip knows the ins and outs of playing a warlock better than anyone I've met, and he knows how hard I've worked for my dps.
As I think back to the place where I was on Friday, I realize that now that my search for a guild that will treat me with patience and understanding, I need to be patient and understanding with myself. If that means that when I come into a raid that I need to take a few minutes to acclimate and know that I can do my job, it's okay for me to click "No" on the ready check.
I also realized last night that I don't want to stop raiding, and not just because making that decision would mean having to justify it to almost 20 people. I love raiding. Getting in and working on strategy is fun. Getting teased about aggroing a bomb bot is fun. Knowing that I can go in with 24 other people and together do more than any of us could do by ourselves makes it all worth it.