Well, the first Ulduar raiding week is over, and Turalyon server has seen full clears by the top alliance and horde guilds. Might and Fusion have my sincere congratulations, along with all the guilds on other servers that cleared this difficult content this week.
I was chatting with a friend yesterday who was asking me if we are recruiting caster dps because people are getting busy. I replied that that's part of it, and Dev's making sure we have enough people to raid, but also I may never have the dps to do Ulduar, at least not in progression. "::::swat::::" Hey, tree branches hurt!
I don't like negativity, and I don't like saying I can't do something, but as I have told Dev and Boom, there are certain realities we have to face, and I like it when we face them together. I may never be able to get above 3k dps on a fight like Deconstructor. I may not be able to react fast enough to survive Razorscale. We do what we can, and maybe by the 2nd or 3rd clear, I can come in and be good enough to survive.
The fact remains, however, that I have a disability. I can't throw a switch or wave a magic wand and remove the effects of cerebral palsy. Denial doesn't help anyone, least of all me, but the fact that my guildies accept me as I am is extremely touching. If I surprise myself and can hang in there, wonderful, if not, let me bow out gracefully, with my head held high and surrounded by hugs.
2015
9 years ago
Way back when, when Oct left for Conviction, many people asked me what was to become of Carol. My constant response was, she still is a member of CRC and will remain as such until she either gets into Conviction or decides to go to another guild. I'm glad she has chosen to stay with us.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that I can say for you Carol, is that you may not be able to pull top end DPS, or react fast enough to dodge x, y, or z that is being thrown at us in this new content. It however doesn't make you any less of a full member of our guild. There is much more to being a member of a guild in MMOs than just being the #1 DPSer, MT, or Queen Bee of healing. For someone that has many challenges in front you I respect all the work that you put in to get better. I don't know any other raid member that took two hours to try and master the Thaddius jump. To add to that, you also are one of the first people to always offer to help anyone asking for it. I know many times you have stopped what you were doing to do something as simple as get me a Titansteel cool down. Be to shut my whining ass up in Gchat or what. It speaks to your willingness to help. Constantly coming to raids prepared, flasks, feasts, pots for yourself and others. All stuff that shows your drive to make yourself and your guild mates better.
Now, on to the rough numbers....
You and I have talked, much like on previous content, if we need to pack more punch and can get a higher dps player in. If it get things done, it gets the guild as a whole past one more hurdle. Which allows us to progress. I feel that being a team player, makes you the 26ths raid member in the raid that night, and are no less deserving of enjoying in our victories.
Its not easy for me to have to make the decisions I have to make. This isn't a lawl WoW is serious business statement either. Why, you might ask? Because everyone takes it personally, and with Carol... I know its not for lack of trying. People might not say they take it personally, but its someone telling you that you are not doing whatever you are doing good enough. Which makes it even more difficult. But the hard truth is, myself, Boom, Larry, and Cinnas have to try to get the raid in place to kill whatever we are on.
I need to get going, but thanks for being a unique part of our guild.
I apologize if any of that doesn't make sense. Typing it up as people come in and out of the office.
-Dem
There is alot that you have personally helped me with outside of WoW, you have become my sister and my best friend in and out of the game. I don't stand by you because you need protecting or because you can't stand by your own.
ReplyDeleteBut because of how strong you make me feel and how much better you make things. I swat you because I don't want you to hurt or be resentful of others, we all have areas we fail at and I can honestly say everyone's own reality is sucky - But together we can make something better.
After all that's why we play WoW? Can't resent a game when it has brought mainly good things. You told me a million times how much WoW has helped you and you disability... don't let it disable you now that you've come so far. And while I said many cheesy or generic things.
I sign my name at the bottom of this note. My thoughts, my wishes, and squishy-mushy feelings and hopes are like a cuddly blanket. You are not alone and if reality is still dim after all this? Then we'll have to find another way to turn on the light.
Don't lose your confidence! (I think I've said this to you like a million times already...)
~Hugs & Kisses~ Vivian
Mines Bigger.... Hah I win again you lagging tree.
ReplyDeleteI smack you with my spikey side... don't tempt me...
ReplyDeleteYes! He finally posts! Thanks for taking the time, I know you're busy.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your words. I know that what you, Boom, Cinnas, and Larry do isn't easy, and I've said before (I think) that you guys are the best at not making me feel like less of a person and less of a raider when I have to step out.
When I joined CRC, I wasn't sure I would ever make it to raid member. I joined because PD raid times were conflicting with my family's needs, I missed raiding, and you had picked up a couple of close friends of mine. Before I put in my app, I asked Oct, "What did you tell Devetre about me?" He told me that he explained to you about my reaction time issues specifically because of the Gorefiend fight. As my trial period went on (and on and on, you were busy in those days), I wondered if I would make Raid Member. All I knew is that I would be content with Social Member, I loved being a part of CRC.
I don't think I've ever told you or Lucky this, but the fact that Oct suggested I apply speaks extremely high of your character and the character of all the veterans. He watched me get very hurt in an old guild, and would not do that again. When he left, I knew there would be questions about where I would go, and I hoped people wouldn't think that I stayed just because I would never survive my 2-week trial in Conviction. I stay because I am happy, and I have good friends here.
Thanks for giving me a place to raid, and for acknowledging my contributions.
Silly Vivi. I think you missed my point, sweetie. If I had lost my confidence, I would have never have run 10 man Ulduar Saturday night. The thing I love about the guild is that I am not alone. I resent no one in the guild. After all, the best warlock I have ever played with does a great job of understanding what is going on with my disability and has helped me immensely because of it.
ReplyDeleteLast night after my meeting, I logged in and immediately got tells saying hi. All I'm saying, is what I need from you guys is not to pretend that the challenges don't exist. Yes, I have made so many gains because of WoW, physically and psychologically, and I don't resent it. It frustrates me sometimes, but the guild is amazing in the way it closes around me with support.
My main reason to face reality is because of what Dem said above. Making the decision to sit me, and communicating that decision, is extremely difficult for the officers. If we can all agree that we are going to do this without apology or recrimination, it still doesn't make it easy, but I hope it makes it a little easier.
I love you, Vivian, and I appreciate your support and ninja-invites.
Okay, you two, don't make me turn this blog around! I didn't even get my reply to Dem finished before you two got into it.
ReplyDelete::::hugs::::
PSH. PSH. Its the Sudafed. D: But I still needed to say what I said!
ReplyDeleteWell, thank you for saying it. I do appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteHi Carol, what a world WoW is; here I am searching google for exact macro syntax trying to build a complex macro to help me in the Razorscale battle, and i find in the fringes; and from there find you. I have neuro-muscular problems resulting from a high speed MVC/Rollover. Don't sell yourself short just yet; put on your stubborn boots and your research hat and get to work! Enough has changed in 3.1 to warrant a few tweeks in our environments I think. I'm almost ready to order a Fang Gamepad to try out; been resisting it for a year; (got too burned out on trying other mousing solutions I think).
ReplyDeleteIn the mean time, I played with my video settings and it helped a ton. I'll post an update when I can get in game and look up my exact settings; but one thing that I overlooked at first was a setting in the very lower right had corner of effects; inside the box that I normally ignore. I know, very helpful aren't I?
Ah, its downloading a patch ...
While I wait, you a so very lucky to have the guild leaders and members you do. Mine can't even manage the one very simple request I make to help me improve my DPS time; without making *insert adjective* comments about how raiders shouldn't need tank windows because all you have to do is; blah or bleh or meh instead of using tank windows. One day I got so frustrated I wrote a really long post in our guild forums explaining how I used ORA2 and how it benefited me; and therefore also benefited the entire raid. Did my nice long explanation help? Nah ...
Back to video settings ...
The biggie for me was checking/enabling : Video - Effects - Projected Textures
Additionally, I believe that what use to be just spell detail is now controlled with Particle Density, Texture Resolution & Texture Filtering. I increased Texture Filtering some and I think that also may have helped.
After feeling like such a wasted space in our first Razorscale attempt; I went back with Rage flasks as well as Stoneblood flasks. I determined to give it one try with the new video settings and new macro's with buffing for DPS and if I was still going down too fast; I would use the stoneblood flask for a big buff to my health. As it was, the changes I made were just enough to squeeze me through.
Good Luck & See you around!
Hi Soundbow! Nice to meet you, and thanks for the advice. Check out AbleGamers as well, it's a great community. I've been through guilds where I was not understood at all, so I definitely know where you're coming from. I know how special my guild is, even though they don't realize it. Dem's philosophy is that we win or lose as a team, and hopefully we win more than we lose. Grats on Razorscale, I'm hoping to see him go down tonight.
ReplyDelete