Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Stop making me cry!

A couple of really cool things happened yesterday.
When 3.1 first came out and I showed my son the colorblind user interface, his face lit up. I mentioned in my AbleGamers status message that I wished the developers at Blizzard could have seen his face, and the Editor-in-Chief of AbleGamers offered to relay a message to his contacts over there. Yesterday, I got an email that I had a private message from Ioo. It was a reply from Nethaera, one of the Blizzard developers, thanking me for my comments. That blew me away. Development in any MMO is a never-ending task, and Nethaera does a lot with the community site, so I know he's busy, and the fact that he took time to send me a well-written, personal reply says a lot.
The main group that had been going into Ulduar went back in, and I was overlooked on the initial invites. Things like that are very hard for me not to take personally. Luckily, someone was on to whom I could say, "I'm feeling sorry for myself and I don't know if I need a shoulder to cry on or a kick in the ass." Sometimes all I need is to get that out, and I can talk myself out of the mood and move on. So I went to Azure Watch to collect eggs to get items for the Noblegarden achievements, when after a bit, I get a tell from Cinnas, "Wanna hop in, or are you busy egging?" I don't say no to raids, so of course, I went in.
I come in and ask, "Which boss are we on?" Cinnas says, "Mimiron." I say, "Oh, $#!*." Octaester's guild was on their third night on Mimiron last night, and hadn't downed him when I went in.
Mimiron is a very technically challenging fight. I love technically challenging fights. We didn't get him down, but got through the first two phases and saw a good bit of phase three. Yay us, and grats Conviction on finally getting the kill.
After raid, I went back to egg collecting, and got into a conversation with Cinnas. I said the above phrase after he made the comment, "I wish most of our raiders had your attitude, hell, I wish I had your attitude." I choose the attitude I display to the guild. Oct is the only one who usually sees the rage. I do that for a couple of reasons. First, I play with mostly men primarily in their 20's and 30's, and most of them are single. It is very easy for men to dismiss women as emotional, even if they make a good point. (Don't tell me you don't do it guys, you know better and so do I.) Second, I don't have the dps to make waves. If I start getting pissy with the officers any time I'm replaced, I'm going to see "You have been removed from the guild by XXXX" in yellow letters on my screen. Third, what I do is the right thing to do, for me and the guild.
Cinnas then proceeded to ask me how jousting was coming, and try to brainstorm ways of making it more manageable for me, and we got on the topic of the Hodir fight, where he told me that he thought I did well. I need to hear that. It's so easy for me to fall into the trap of thinking that no matter how much I improve, I still suck at this, and I don't. I am improving, and the guild is a big part of that. Most players will not get down into the minutiae of dealing with a disability like cerebral palsy, and I appreciate all the people who understand that sometimes I need encouragement, and sometimes I need a fresh set of eyes looking at the challenge.
This morning, Oct and I were chatting about last night, and I made the comment, "I'm so glad you suggested I apply to CRC. Did you know it would be like that for me?" He said, "Oh yeah, it's a great guild. I just needed to raid more." I don't think they will ever understand how special they are, but that makes them even more unique.

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